Armchair Pundits

15 Days & Counting

No, I am not talking about the misappropriation of Cindy Sheehan's grief. Rather, I feel compelled to warn my readers that what you are about to read will be distasteful. If you are faint-hearted, turn away now. What follows is my faint excuse for few recent postings.

I say distasteful for two reasons. First, the content that follows and second, it always makes me [personally] uncomfortable when a grown man whines like a child. To the mom's--I know that nothing on earth compares to the agony of pushing out another living being, but I am but a mortal man, so my baseline or threshold of...uhm...discomfort is different.

It's the weekend and we're all still sick. I'm feeling a tad discouraged so pardon my tone. You see, it all started earlier this month. The boy and I had been camping with another father and his son. It is an annual affair, occurring the same weekend each year. The faces are the same but older and the venues change. I don't know if it was the heat (day 2) or the fact that my buddy G & I had stayed up a little late enjoying the fire, but I knew that Sunday, something was amiss. My head hurt, my eyes ached, & I felt tired and not entirely myself.

G on the other hand, is a man of impeccable constitution. He thrives on 5 hours of sleep a night. Yes, thrives. Most days, I wish God had designed me like that, but I am contented to associate with such a friend. And for more mere mortals such as myself, there is always coffee.

Upon arriving home, the lovely Mrs. Grisby was not quite herself. A sore throat seemed to be playing a game of hide-&-seek with her. There in the morning, gone in the afternoon, a day on, a day off, you get the idea.

Wednesday saw the first assault in the offensive. The boy went down with pink-eye and a sore throat. That evening/early Thursday morning, all the warning signs I'd ignored earlier, came to bear in my body. Stuffy nose, ear ache, body aches, tickling cough, thickening phlegm. Not fun.

As the week progressed, I became increasingly scarce at work. It's hard to function on next to no sleep. By day, I survived. Night was a nightmare, as symptoms would worsen making rest difficult. I don't know if my body has seen stage 5 in the last 10 days.

The wife? Stalwart. The very picture of fortitude, General Mommytm was in full fledged defensive posture. Any previous sign of illness-surpressed. By the weekend, two of our three children were down with the affiliction. I too had been treated for a sinus infection & conjunctivitis when the invading hordes struck another major blow.

Friday into Sunday was a pivotal front in this battle. The family, besieged with illness, felt another sting, when General Mommy'stm defensive blockade was overcome and she succumbed to illness. The image in my mind was that of an invading army seiging a castle. Outside the walls the invaders brought forth catapults and reigned terror on those behind the moat and stone fortifications. What tyrannical weapon would the invader use? Stones to break the walls? Molten fire balls? In our case, it feels more like the black plague. At any rate, when General Mommytm goes down, you know it's a serious offensive.

The current manner of morphing infestation inflicting the Grisby household, involves much hacking and expulsion of goo. Thick mucousy phelgm, alternating between shades of green and brown. For some of my readers, this no doubt conjurs up 15 year old memories (better forgotten) of a van trip and a jar (ack-spit), but alas, I digress.

This is truly bad news readers. For it appears the invaders are virul rather than bacterial. The sinus infection has subsisted due to the medication, but the nagging tickling coughing remains. In fact, this past weekend a fit of coughing lead to a little vomitting. Oh joy! The fun! And now the third child has fallen prey to the invader as well. You knew it had to happen eventually.

Is there a silver-lining moral to this tale? Not really. We have missed two long scheduled and highly anticipated social engagments, an extended family get together, spent hundreds of dollars at the doctor's office, missed work, rescheduled appointments, thus losing wages.

Although, as I think about it, I may have some material for a chapter in my buddy's book. Oh, didn't I mention that? Well, one of my dearest friends is currently working on a diet/nutrtional book. As a chemical engineer (with a wicked sense of humor) working for a fortune 500 manufacturer of food products, he is emminently qualified to do so. I think my contribution could be to the exercise portion of the book. I've found that coughing hard enough to make you wretch gives your abs a great burn. Mine have been sore for about a week. Maybe it's not to late to get that six-pack in my thirties.

I guess my whole point is this: Being sick sucks. Being sick during the nicest part of a Minnesota summer sucks more.

posted by Grisby @ 11:31 AM