A Little Levity
I found this in my inbox this morning. I do not know who authored this parody, but found it humorous anyway.Subject: Bush Fails To Prevent East CoastBlizzard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bush Fails To Prevent East Coast Blizzard
Minorities Hit Hardest
by Brian Williams NBC 02/12/06
As President Bush and his staff cowered in the White House, the snow continued to pile up on the many poor and minority victims who could not afford to get out of town or to safety in Florida. Crucial supplies of blankets, hot cocoa, popcorn and dark rum - so essential to surviving the stress of any major snowstorm - lay in stores undelivered.
"Where is the government? I need my sidewalk shoveled so I canget out to buy my damn lottery tickets!" said one D.C. resident from his living room.
"Why are we wasting money in Iraq when we could be spending it here on me?"
Progressive blogs blasted the President for his inaction. "We find the timing terribly suspicious - just as the Domestic Spying hearings kick into high gear, what happens? A major northeast Blizzard. Why now?" wrote blogger FUAmericaNBush2.
Hearings into the Blizzards' effect on hearings are almost a certainty. Howard Dean has suggested he will call for an investigation once his new medications kick in and John Kerry took a break from the sporting activities of the glamorous super-rich in some exotic locale (random choice: Ice Sailing in Finland) to call for new legislation outlawing snowstorms.
"The Republican Congress has dropped the ball once again. I have always been a staunch supporter of anti-snow legislation, except for certain locations where I ski. Snow has no business on our roads and the President and Congress knows that."
Calls for impeachment over "SnowGate" as some are calling it already are mounting as deeply as the snow itself, and what will be discovered underneath will prove to have a truly chilling effect on the Republicans, as the inevitable thaw proceeds. Or something like that.
More breaking news......
Al Sharpton wants an investigation as to why snow is ALWAYS white. Additionally, Vice President Cheney is reported to own stock in Tru-Value Hardware Stores. Do you have any idea how many SNOW SHOVELS they sold today to the unsuspecting consumer?
I demand to know why FEMA has been so late in reacting to thisstorm. THEY KNEW IT WAS COMING! And yet they failed to have crews in place to fix the electricity as soon as it went off. It just shows that Bush and the Republicans just don't care about the people in the North East. The Senate needs to investigate this with administration people under oath.
I'll bet that the great junior senator from N.Y. has opened thedoors of her home to all of the heatless poor of her neighborhood and is busybaking cookies for them while her husband applies body heat to the hypothermic.
posted by Grisby @ 6:37 PM
4 Comments:
Tee, hee, hee, Grisby. Let’s parody the Democrats about the blizzard so we don’t have to think about this administration’s absolute incompetence to deal with the insurgency in Iraq, port security, Katrina, the deficit, wiretapping, Medicare prescriptions, Abramoff, Social Security, Cheney’s drunken hunting trip, Valerie Plame….oh lordy, lordy the list goes on and on. But since Bush makes no mistakes, we can pretend there are no shortcomings in the Dear Leader and he deserves our full and uncritical support. Thank God he’s not jeopardizing our country by getting a hummer from an intern.
I’m not talking about making honest mistakes. I’m talking about deliberately misleading the public, making policy decision based on skewed ideology and political gain rather than careful deliberation of the evidence that is out there. I’m talking about incompetence in executing plans, plans that were stupid in the first place.
Social Security. It works. It has worked for 70 years. Does it need fine tuning? yes. Does it need privatization? Absolutely not. Consider this: in 1995 the CBO said that the trust fund would have no money left in it in 2030. In 2004 the CBO said it would be out of money in 2042. Its bankruptcy is moving out into the future. Why would we need privatization? Right now overhead costs for administering S.S. are about 1 percent of revenues. What Wall Street firms are going to keep costs that low and who gets to choose which brokerages will manage the funds, or would you rather have some D.C. bureaucrats decide which companies to invest in? Also the startup costs would be astronomical. If you divert funds going into the current system to start up private accounts and want to maintain benefits for users of the current system, you need to come up with trillions of dollars to run both systems simultaneously. So you bankrupt the system earlier to keeping it from going bankrupt. Stupid and unnecessary plan.
Medicare prescription plan. The administration sold the program as costing 400 billion dollars. Richard Foster the chief Medicare actuary knew that it would cost upwards of 550 billion (now it’s up to 678 billion), but had to keep his mouth shut for fear of losing his job. The administration lied to us.
No charges in the leaking? Check out the indictment of Scooter Libby
http://www.usdoj.gov/usao/iln/osc/documents/libby_indictment_28102005.pdf
Jack Abramhoff? You can have the pictures. I don’t care about them In a simple search I found out that former Malaysian Prime Minister Mathahir Mohamed paid Abramhoff 1.2 million dollars to set up a meeting with President Bush. Jack was also a Pioneer raising more than $100,000 for Bush’s re-election and bragged about the access he had to the White House. Do you have that same kind of access?
Cheney shot his friend and did not talk to authorities until the next day. Before his little puff piece with Britt Hume, he had his minions tell the press it was the victim’s fault for getting shot. What a cowardly way to handle an accident. Of course cowardice is not unfamiliar territory for Cheney…5 draft deferments. Does if affect policy? No. Does it reveal the man’s character? Yes.
I opposed the war before it started. Iraq did not attack us, it was a pre-emptive attack based on faulty intelligence. Yellowcake from Niger, aluminum tubes that can “only” be used for nuclear weapons production, supposed links between Iraq and al-Qaida, all crap. There were plenty of people who knew that all this so-called intelligence was suspect at best, but this administration will hear no dissenting opinions. What else were we told? We would be greeted with flowers and sweets as liberators. We won’t need on the order of several hundred thousand troops to secure the country after the war is won. Oil revenues will pay for the cost of the war. “Mission Accomplished”. The insurgency is in its last throes. Even more crap.
You complain that Dems have no plans. Well here are a few of the plans hatched by this administration. They mislead, out right lied and live in world so divorced from reality that it’s not funny. The only thing they seem to do is engineer elections well. If you don’t believe they are incompetent and have screwed up just about anything they have touched, and our country is worse off for it. If you don’t believe it then you might as well join the administration in their little fantasy land.
Scooter Libby was actually accused of perjury, not disclosing a CIA operative. Last time I checked he hadn’t even had his day in court. But I guess semantics only count when you are defining what the definition of 'is' is...
-Jack
Mr. Scott: While I have to admit that I was quite disappointed by your first post, I’ll just chalk that one up to you having an off day, because I see that you are now back to your normal self.
Rob: Great posts. Keep them coming.
Jack: Good point.
Social Security: I won’t go into great detail on this, but will make a few points. Everybody seems to agree on at least one thing: Something has to be done about Social Security. The arguments arise when we discuss just how much fixing needs to be done. Mr. Scott says “fine tuned.” Others say overhaul. This is not a new debate. I remember comedians talking about “so-so security: maybe it will be there, maybe it won’t” back in the mid 1980’s. We have debated and debated. The time has come to actually do something. I have always suspected that the administration put out their Social Security proposal more as a way to jump start action and see what type of a compromise could be hammered out.
Scooter Libby: Jack is right. Mr. Libby is accused of perjury. And, we all know what a serious charge perjury is, don’t we.
Quail-gate: Mr. Scott, in response to your derogatory remarks against the Vice-President (i.e., impugning his character because he received draft deferments), may I remind you of a certain individual who received an ROTC deferment but did not participate in the ROTC program. No one seems to remember that one.
Finally, to Grisby’s original post: it was funny. Especially having lived my whole life with blizzards. It was funny.
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