A Little Levity
I found this in my inbox this morning. I do not know who authored this parody, but found it humorous anyway. Subject: Bush Fails To Prevent East CoastBlizzard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bush Fails To Prevent East Coast BlizzardMinorities Hit Hardestby Brian Williams NBC 02/12/06As President Bush and his staff cowered in the White House, the snow continued to pile up on the many poor and minority victims who could not afford to get out of town or to safety in Florida. Crucial supplies of blankets, hot cocoa, popcorn and dark rum - so essential to surviving the stress of any major snowstorm - lay in stores undelivered.
"Where is the government? I need my sidewalk shoveled so I canget out to buy my damn lottery tickets!" said one D.C. resident from his living room.
"Why are we wasting money in Iraq when we could be spending it here on me?"
Progressive blogs blasted the President for his inaction. "We find the timing terribly suspicious - just as the Domestic Spying hearings kick into high gear, what happens? A major northeast Blizzard. Why now?" wrote blogger FUAmericaNBush2.
Hearings into the Blizzards' effect on hearings are almost a certainty. Howard Dean has suggested he will call for an investigation once his new medications kick in and John Kerry took a break from the sporting activities of the glamorous super-rich in some exotic locale (random choice: Ice Sailing in Finland) to call for new legislation outlawing snowstorms.
"The Republican Congress has dropped the ball once again. I have always been a staunch supporter of anti-snow legislation, except for certain locations where I ski. Snow has no business on our roads and the President and Congress knows that."
Calls for impeachment over "SnowGate" as some are calling it already are mounting as deeply as the snow itself, and what will be discovered underneath will prove to have a truly chilling effect on the Republicans, as the inevitable thaw proceeds. Or something like that.
More breaking news......
Al Sharpton wants an investigation as to why snow is ALWAYS white. Additionally, Vice President Cheney is reported to own stock in Tru-Value Hardware Stores. Do you have any idea how many SNOW SHOVELS they sold today to the unsuspecting consumer?
I demand to know why FEMA has been so late in reacting to thisstorm. THEY KNEW IT WAS COMING! And yet they failed to have crews in place to fix the electricity as soon as it went off. It just shows that Bush and the Republicans just don't care about the people in the North East. The Senate needs to investigate this with administration people under oath.
I'll bet that the great junior senator from N.Y. has opened thedoors of her home to all of the heatless poor of her neighborhood and is busybaking cookies for them while her husband applies body heat to the hypothermic.
That Squirrel … he must be crazy!
My Grandpa told the story of how he once went to the local tire shop to get one of his tractor tires worked on. He had made some unreasonable demand about how the work was to be done and was walking out when he stopped and turned around.
“What did you say, Gus” he yelled back into the shop.
“I didn’t say anything,” Gus replied.
“Yes you did. You said, ‘that Gene Cotton … he must be crazy.’”
Gus defended himself. “I said no such thing.”
“Well, you sure were thinking it,” said my grandpa with a smile.
Luckily, I too have been blessed with my Grandpa’s ability to read minds. And, I know that you will say, “that Squirrel … he must be crazy.”
I am going to do a Triathlon this summer.
That statement alone may cause you to question my sanity. Just a few months ago I would have questioned my sanity. I’ve watched the television coverage of the IronMan World Triathlon Championships. I’ve sat on the couch eating munchies while I watched grown men and women swim, bike and run across some of the most unforgiving terrain I’ve ever seen. You may have watched the Gatorade commercial with the triathlete whose body “shut down” during the IronMan World Triathlon Championships. I’ve questioned the sanity of anyone who would voluntarily submit to that kind of torture.
That was the mental image that immediately entered my head when I was first approached with this offer, which is why I immediately laughed it off. But, I was curious and started doing a little research. As I gained more knowledge, I began to feel this was something that I could actually do. To set the record straight, and to educate our readers, there are actually four levels of triathlon (in order of distance): Sprint, Olympic, Half-IronMan, and IronMan. I will be participating in a sprint triathlon, which is the shortest. It consists of a ¼ mile swim, 15 mile bike, and a 3.1 mile run. For comparison, an IronMan level triathlon consists of a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and 26.2 mile run.
Now for those of you who really know me, the fact that it is a “short” triathlon is not enough to keep you from call “those neat young men in their clean white coats … (ho ho ha ha he he).” So, I guess I should come clean. Yes, I did quit track after the end of my jr. high season. Let’s face it, I couldn’t run more than 400 meters without needing oxygen. And don’t get me started on Mr. Swiontek’s hill sprints. Suffice it to say, that North Dakota is not as flat as you may have been led to believe. So, I quit track and joined the golf team. Golf was a lot more fun. Playing golf didn’t involve sharp burning pains in my lungs and the loss of feeling in my legs.
So what changed between then and now to make me think that I could possibly do a triathlon. Let me share my rationalization process with you.
Let’s take the events in order. The swim. This concerns me. But, I can swim, I’ve done a little lap swimming in the past and I think with some hard work and training I could swim ¼ mile. The bike. This I’m not too worried about. I’ve done a lot of biking. When I heard it was a 15 mile bike, I knew I could do that. At one point in my past I had done some biking in northern Minnesota with some friends who had a 16 mile route. They once told me that no one had ever done it in less than an hour. I, of course, took that as a personal challenge and on my next time out, I shattered their record and road the course in 52 minutes and 29 seconds. So, I’ll need to do some work to get back my old biking form, but it is definitely doable. The run. A year ago this would have ended any consideration of a triathlon. I’ve never been able to run. But then Ma and Pa Squirrel gave me their old treadmill. Last fall I actually decide to just see how far and fast I could run. So, I picked a slower speed and started off. I actually ran a mile. I was amazed. I didn’t have to call the paramedics. My legs still functioned. I was actually able to move the next morning. So, last fall I ran on and off, but nothing serious. Then, I made a New Year’s resolution to be more consistent in my running in order to get in shape and lose a few pounds. As amazing as it sounds, since the beginning of the year, I have been running twice a week. Prior to my decision, I was running about 2 miles at a pace of 5 mph. If I could do that, I could do 3 miles.
So, I could rationalize doing all three events. I’m not naive though. It will take some serious training (physical, mental and nutritional). But, I will be better off for having done it. I just completed my first week of pre-base training (I’m just running … it is too cold to do anything else). I’m doing 2.5 miles at 5.5 mph. I’m feeling great. I’ve lost weight. I’m eating better (i.e., more healthy) than I ever have. I’m actually reading nutritional labels looking for carb, fat and protein levels. Ma Squirrel will be happy to hear that I’m also drinking more water (hydration is very important in triathlon).
Now, come 7:00 a.m. on that July morning as I’m standing on a beach about ready to jump into a cold lake and begin an 18.35 mile jaunt, you will probably hear me mutter to myself, “ that Squirrel … he must be crazy.”
Goring America
What a week former veep Al Gore had! My how I wish I hadn't typed that sentence. His bloviating this week about US Foreign policy (at the Jeddah conference) has been strictly nauseating, not to mention wildly uncharacteristic for someone of his stature. Just to be clear- by stature I mean having held the office of Vice President of The United States of America, not the laughable caricature that Mr. Gore often presents from the lunatic fringe .
It is unconscionable that a former veep would willingly allow himself to become such a colossal tool for our enemies. The KGB in it's heyday, couldn't have dreamed such useful propaganda. But hey, if it hamstrings the efforts of our State Department and the current administration, well then damn the consequences! Far be it for me to criticize! What a fool I am for wanting to see our foreign policy and broader Middle Eastern campaign succeed--all that second hand smoke must have destroyed too many valuable brain cells!
Some great posts on this can be found over at
Michelle Malkin's,
Hugh's,
the inestimable Mark Steyn, and
here &
here. You know, the usual suspects. Fine blogging with manifold links.
Politicking...it's all fun and games until somebody gets shot. After all the hub-bub over the cartoons, and the idiot Italian minister and his t-shirt, I would expect a former vice president of mine, to know better. I know, I know. It's the fever swamp. Bush spends like a big government liberal and the left still loathes him!
But really, shouldn't we be optimistic in our dealings
with this impeccable reasoning?!
Observations
So this is what a blog looks like? Man, things have been so chaotic of late, that my posting has seriously suffered. Perhaps that is just my excuse for not having much I care to say, at any rate, I need to get back into the swing of things.
Recently, I made a trip to Miranda's Musings, only to find it is no longer there. I think she is to busy whooping tail on all the boys in her fantasy football league (or so I've heard through back channels). On those lines, I wonder who she's picking for the big game Sunday. I think it would be wise not to bet against her.
Okay, I'm so lame! I started this post 11 days ago and now it's almost Valentines Day. It's a good thing I finally moved up to DSL at home, or this would probably be scrapped. For those who live in a vaccum or don't particulary care, the Steelers won. Miranda did in fact terminate her blog, and I still don't know who she picked for the game. In the news....Muslims rioting over cartoons, the print or not to print debate. Is anyone really surprised this happened? I understand that printing an image of the prophet is offensive and was done in poor judgement. That being said, would any paper in the western world have printed cartoons of an anti-Christian or anti-Jewish bent? It is unfortunate that the answer to that question requires almost no thought as it is intuitively affirmative. It seems, as if MSM is an equal opportunity offender when it comes to colluding against anything Judeo-Christian, but when it comes to Islam, it's kid gloves all the way. Again, not that a free press should go out of its way to pick needless fights but the disparity is suspect.
And
now this. $262?! I might be eating crow later, but I'll go on record and say it ain't gonna happen. I'm no Soros, and my company doesn't resemble Hermitage, but I look at this stuff enough to say that it is highly unlikely that Chavez will take the Venezualen operation off line, not to mention the Saudi's still have wiggle room on increasing flows. For all the talk of energy consumption, an economist I regularly read indicated that our percentage of imports (per barrel) remains remarkably consistent with early 1970's levels.
Now that's not near as interesting as alternative energy sources, which is something I, like most Americans am interested in. The psychology of all this is fascinating. When the president rattles the sabre of alternative energy in a convincing enough manner, what happens? Saudi's increase production, effectively driving down the price per barrel, all in the name of protecting market share. What happens when the market changes sufficiently, so that not only are we capable of consuming alternative energy (electric, ethanol, hydrogen), but the market demands it? Markets around the world will change and we will effectively bankrupt the Arab Nations. I imagine that will give the radical Imams somthing to talk about on Sundays! We will remain the great evil cause of all their woes.
When that day comes, to what side will newspaper editorial pages lean?
"US causes terrorism by supporting alternative energy." Will they get it when they don't even seem to grasp
this?
Somethings may never change.
